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MEMORANDUM




TO: All Employees
FROM: NPR External Relations Department
SUBJECT:  How to Speak to the Public
TOTEBAG:  RED

DATE: March 9, 2011

In the current political climate, NPR employees must assume that every stranger we meet is secretly recording our conversations with the intent of discrediting NPR.  (Please see yesterday’s memo, “STRANGER DANGER.”)

We have gotten feedback from many of you that feigning temporary deafness is not always practical.  Therefore, we have compiled this sample quiz for those times when replying to people is simply unavoidable.  Please study this closely, and respond to the public in kind!

1. What do you think of the Tea Party?


 
 
Today, at this very second, every driver in every car in Chicago is on the phone.  No exceptions.

The closer a cyclist is to a downtown train station, the more invisible a cyclist is to a jaywalking pedestrian. 

A minivan magically renders any person incapable of driving it well.