I read this essay at The Paper Machete, a live magazine show that runs each Saturday at 3:00 at Ricochet's bar in Chicago's Lincoln Square neighborhood. Dude, you should totally go. This one, though, I read at the Grafton down the street at the Paper Machete's Labor Day show, Sunday September 5, 2010, at 8:30 PM. Please imagine this being read aloud in a stately James Earl Jones baritone.
The Menace of Professional Music
I’m 35, and in 16 years of hanging out in bars about twice a week, I’ve sung in one only once. I mean really sung, not karaoke, not the “Bah-bah-bah” part of Sweet Caroline, but singing spontaneously for joy, camaraderie, and the sheer hell of it.
The Menace of Professional Music
I’m 35, and in 16 years of hanging out in bars about twice a week, I’ve sung in one only once. I mean really sung, not karaoke, not the “Bah-bah-bah” part of Sweet Caroline, but singing spontaneously for joy, camaraderie, and the sheer hell of it.

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