The letter was unsigned, but included a photocopy of a hand giving me The Swear Finger. Based on the huge pinky ring, I'd guess its author was Dr. Gregory D. Curfman, who's otherwise a stand-up dude and was probably just having a bad day.
Well, whatevz. I stand by every word I wrote, except for the ones that appear in black font.
The Nerd Gene
by "Dr." Dennis O'Toole
Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco have published a study in the journal Science showing that male fruit flies who cannot find a mate drink four times as much alcohol as those that mate. "It's the first discovery, in fruit flies," according to Science, "of a social interaction that influences future behavior."
Nerds everywhere, take heed: Could it be that the vicious cycle of social ineptitude is wired into one’s DNA?
Science seems to say, quite emphatically, yes: