Dennis O'Toole
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Sun-Times piece on the Obamacare Rollout

11/22/2013

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Picture"President" Obama, whilst concocting another fiendish plan


In which no dire analogy is quite apt enough.  Click me or the picture and get magically transported to the article!

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On the Nature of the Sublime and the Mores of the Quintiles

11/21/2013

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PictureWha--wha--WHA!?!?!?
On Friday night my wife and I stopped for a drink at a specialty cocktail bar in Lincoln Park. She got a La Louisiane, which is like a Sazerac with vermouth, and I got a Brooklyn, which is like a Manhattan before Giuliani and Bloomberg ruined it.  Between the two of us we had less than 7 ounces of booze.  Total cost: $24.  Before tip.

While we sipped our drinks and took in the scene, Donn’ique (not her name) pointed out all the good looking people around us.  An idle “Where do all these people come from?” turned into a long discussion on the Nature of the Sublime.

Donn’ique wondered: does wealth beget beauty, or does beauty beget wealth?  And if beauty is a means to acquiring wealth and attracting other beautiful people, will Darwinian forces kick in?  Will the beautiful pair off and create more beautiful people, both in number and degree of beauty?  If they lose wealth, will they-- and their--offspring lose their beauty?  Or will the beauty ensure that a certain social standard is always met?

She’s very smart, especially with a glass of rye in her hand.

I posited, “Za combinashun o’ bofe.”  And then I passed out.


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Click Bait Articles are a Pain in My Ass. And That’s a Bad Thing.

11/16/2013

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PictureSlate Thinks You Are Wrong For Enjoying This Scene
The following link/headline was one of the lead stories on Slate on Friday, November 15, 2013 at roughly 2:00 PM CT.  It is Exhibit A for me in my suit against American Internet Media entities, currently pending in the Northern District of Illinois.  I seek billions of dollars for my pain and suffering.  Once I win I will buy me a senator and make sure something like this never happens again:

The Orgasm Scene in When Harry Met Sally Made No Sense. Now We Know Why.

This is dangerously irresponsible journalism.  If all 303 million Americans over the age of eleven read this headline simultaneously, the collective “Huh!?!” emitted would knock the Earth off its axis and send us hurtling into Mr. Sun.  Despite the obvious stupidity of the thesis, I, along with at least a half a dozen other Americans, clicked on the article.  It’s click bait: a headline either so vague or so dumb we just have to see how stupid the content really is.



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    About Dennis

    Dennis O'Toole is an all-set cobra jet creepin' through the nighttime.  He lives in Chicago. 

    If you need to reach me, dial:
    denotoole AT SYMBOL gmail DOT co LETTER M.  

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