My dear Portia,
Since my Arrival this time I have driven about Paris, more than I did before. The rural Scenes around this Town are charming. The public Walks, Gardens, &c. are extreamly beautifull. Oh Man, it would be Cool if I could blow off Diplomacy and just get into the Arts over here, but the Science of Government is my Duty to study, more than all other Sciences.
I must study Politicks and War that my sons may have liberty to study Mathematicks and Philosophy.
My sons ought to study Mathematicks and Philosophy, Geography, natural History, Naval Architecture, navigation, Commerce and Agriculture, in order to give their Children a right to study Painting, Poetry, Musick, Architecture, Statuary, Tapestry and Porcelaine.
Those Children must study Painting, Musick, Tapestry (if Tapestry is still a Thing in the Future), Porcelaine and Whatnot so that their Children might study Advertising, Marketing, Investing, Law, and Communications. That last one is certainly a bullshit Thing to study, but those Students will wind up in Law or Advertising anyway.
The Cupcake Generation will birth a Race that uses antiquated Technologies that are inferior to modern Technologies, but will develop elaborate and asinine Reasons for the supposed Superiority of the shittier Thing.
This Nostalgic Generation of Idiots will beget Children who grow ridiculous Mustaches and Beards and have Tattoos upon their Necks.
This freakish, unemployable Portion of Posterity will be annoying as Hell. But it is through their silly Commitment to annoying Things, like “artisanal” Versions of Stuff that do not require such a Designation (say, Cheese Sandwiches), that they will birth a serious yet disillusioned Generation who, again, study Politicks and War. But for them it’s just a Way to piss off their freakish Parents.
And that’s when Things get weird. This Generation of Politicks and War Guys or Whatever will not beget, like us, sons who study Mathematicks and Philosophy. By then everyone will have elaborate Calculating Machines which solve Problems in a Snap and thus render the Study of Mathematicks pointless; and by then Philosophy will become completely unreadable and confusing, almost wholly devoted to dumb Questions like “Do I exist?” Yes, unfortunately you will exist, Asshole.
Anyway, those Kids, the Kids of the second Bunch of Guys way into studying Politicks and War (i.e. far in the Future and therefore not Us), will commute to Work via Skateboard or, worse, Foot-powered Scooter. Some will even use a big Oar-type Thing to propel themselves on their Longboards, which is a type of Skateboard that is just long and which you cannot do Tricks upon, so what is the Point? “Oh, look at me. I’m on a Longboard.”
Around now People will finally realize that burning much of the Planet for Fuel was a bad Idea and Everywhere will be hot and melty. Our beloved Massachusetts will be under Water and People will be like, “Uh-oh, if only we studied Mathematicks, maybe we’d live in Space and we would not have to deal with this Mess.”
Well, I got to split. Jay and Franklin (Ben Franklin I mean, Duh) are coming over Tonight to play Ping Pong, which is like Tennis but on a Table.
Miss your Bod’,