Please memorize the following:
Scary Halloween Jokes
A Trader Joe's Check-out Adventure
Mr. C
To the Editors of Penthouse
Nate Silver's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather's Predictions for the First Presidential Election
NPR All Things Considered piece: My Fantasy Nobel Prize Team
Six Word Stories
On Living Alone
Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," an Early Draft with Cross-outs and Author's Notes
On Turning 37
On Updike, The Simpson's, Ted Williams, and The Cos. Among others, at The Morning News.
Off-beat Halloween Outfits for 2009
Treatment for my Screenplay, BOAT COP.
I Will Fax Anything. On McSweeney's site.
Essay about getting my mind together before an improv show
The Menace of Professional Music
Why I Hate Flash Mobs. Up until this past summer, flash mobs meant cloying unemployed theater majors annoying you in public with an orchestrated Smile Attack. Somewhere around 2011, cops nationwide co-opted the phrase to mean "Mob violence." Commissioner, what is going on with all the mob violence? "Oh, those kids who beat that guy and stole his wallet? That wasn't a mob, that was a flash mob. The Internet caused it." Well, I now hate both types of flash mobs, but this is about the non-violent version.
Poetry for The Age of American Decline. Over at The Morning News.
Essay Decrying the Little League Lead-Off
A Trader Joe's Check-out Adventure
Mr. C
To the Editors of Penthouse
Nate Silver's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather's Predictions for the First Presidential Election
NPR All Things Considered piece: My Fantasy Nobel Prize Team
Six Word Stories
On Living Alone
Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," an Early Draft with Cross-outs and Author's Notes
On Turning 37
On Updike, The Simpson's, Ted Williams, and The Cos. Among others, at The Morning News.
Off-beat Halloween Outfits for 2009
Treatment for my Screenplay, BOAT COP.
I Will Fax Anything. On McSweeney's site.
Essay about getting my mind together before an improv show
The Menace of Professional Music
Why I Hate Flash Mobs. Up until this past summer, flash mobs meant cloying unemployed theater majors annoying you in public with an orchestrated Smile Attack. Somewhere around 2011, cops nationwide co-opted the phrase to mean "Mob violence." Commissioner, what is going on with all the mob violence? "Oh, those kids who beat that guy and stole his wallet? That wasn't a mob, that was a flash mob. The Internet caused it." Well, I now hate both types of flash mobs, but this is about the non-violent version.
Poetry for The Age of American Decline. Over at The Morning News.
Essay Decrying the Little League Lead-Off
