Dennis O'Toole
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Please memorize the following: 

Scary Halloween Jokes

A Trader Joe's Check-out Adventure


Mr. C

To the Editors of Penthouse

Nate Silver's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather's Predictions for the First Presidential Election

NPR All Things Considered piece:  My Fantasy Nobel Prize Team

Six Word Stories 

On Living Alone

Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," an Early Draft with Cross-outs and Author's Notes

On Turning 37


On Updike, The Simpson's, Ted Williams, and The Cos.  Among others, at The Morning News.

Off-beat Halloween Outfits for 2009

Treatment for my Screenplay, BOAT COP. 

I Will Fax Anything.  On McSweeney's site.

Essay about getting my mind together before an improv show

The Menace of Professional Music

Why I Hate Flash Mobs.  Up until this past summer, flash mobs meant cloying unemployed theater majors annoying you in public with an orchestrated Smile Attack. Somewhere around 2011, cops nationwide co-opted the phrase to mean "Mob violence."  Commissioner, what is going on with all the mob violence? "Oh, those kids who beat that guy and stole his wallet?  That wasn't a mob, that was a flash mob. The Internet caused it." Well, I now hate both types of flash mobs, but this is about the non-violent version.

Poetry for The Age of American Decline.  Over at The Morning News.


Essay Decrying the Little League Lead-Off

  


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